This morning I heard "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls on the radio as I drove through the sleet and rain to get to work and it made me reflect on the love between parents and their children. The first verse seemed to describe how I feel when I watch Luke sleeping and he's somewhere other than in my arms... the longing to touch and hold him can be overpowering sometimes. It also makes me reflect on how I think I might feel if God forbid, he doesn't make it through his open heart surgery... one of my single biggest fears at this point in my life (and something that I work hard to not think about). "And I'd give up forever to touch you / 'cause I know that you feel me somehow / You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be / and I don't want to go home right now / And all I can taste is this moment / and all I can breathe is your life / and sooner or later it's over / I just don't want to miss you tonight".
The chorus made me think about Luke when he's older and the type of vulnerability he might feel... something that I hope is combined with a sense of self worth... the chorus goes like this... "And I don't want the world to see me / 'cause I don't think that they'd understand / When everything's made to be broken / I just want you to know who I am". I hope that society continues to embrace diversity and that Luke feels included in life as he grows older. I also hope that he has the communication skills to share who he is with others.
Deep thoughts for a Monday and at that one that started at 4:40 am with an unusually fussy baby! (Luke has pretty faithfully slept through the night since he was 7 weeks old, so I won't hold this morning against him :) Here's to having a blessed week!
'cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
and I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
and all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your life
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you'd bleed just to know your alive
I just want you to know who I am 3x