Last week I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.
The baby will be here in a few short weeks, Christmas is around the corner with shopping, wrapping and decorating still needing completed in our house. My lower back and carpal tunnel syndrome have been creating significant pain and physical discomfort for me lately, keeping me from having a peaceful night's sleep in quite some time. Because of my back, Dustin has been transporting Matthew to and from the sitter pretty regularly and I've been noticing that Matthew has been choosing Dustin over me for playtime, comfort, kisses, etc. and while I've been grateful that Matthew has a father who loves him and that he can count on, I have to admit that it's made me feel a bit left out.
There was a short span of a few days last week where I felt pretty down in the dumps and really questioned if God had chosen the "right" mother to be our new baby's caregiver? Do I have it in me to learn all that will be required? Will I be the best advocate? How on earth will I manage therapy, more specialists and learning how to care for our new baby in addition to my already lengthy list of to-do's? I thought on it for a few days and had really been struggling with my level of confidence in myself.
Thursday evening, I was reminded that we're not in "this" alone. A couple who are long time friends of ours called the night before to see if we'd be home as they had something to drop off. We were looking forward to seeing them as it had been a while since we'd had a chance to visit. When Thursday evening rolled around, we learned that our friend had submitted our names and story to become beneficiaries of a fundraiser organized by she and her co-workers every year... we were selected as one of six families to receive a more than generous monetary gift to help us offset our upcoming expenses related to baby's condition. We were humbled, touched and grateful. We hope to be staying in Cleveland, either at Ronald McDonald House or if they are full, a local hotel to be near baby while he is in the NICU and their gift should really help us to manage that expense much easier.
After a bit of reflection, I was reminded that we are not in "this" alone. The love of Christ has constantly been shared with us through family, friends and even through the generous hearts of people we've never even met, just like from my friend's co-workers at Weaver Leather.
Love and support is all around, we just have to be open to accepting it!
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